I have been Tyra free for over two months now.
YAAAAAAAAAAY!
My favorite part: sleeping through the night without having to use the bathroom 9000 times (ok, that's bit of an over exaggeration, but it was annoying).
Thanks for all of your support, care packages, well-wishes, cards, conversations, help in passing the time, and love.
06 January 2010
The Real World....?
After today's first Spirituality in Higher Ed class I came home and watched the premiere episode of The Real World: Washington DC. The cast is out to dinner and debating God and religion. I would love to have been in that house and use these conversations and interactions as a case study. In class we are helping Alexander Astin with research about college student's perspectives and experiences with spirituality. These eight young adults come from such varied backgrounds and such willingness to speak their minds.
Similarly, the issues of sexuality on this show are AWESOME! There are two bisexual cast members...one man and one woman. Cast members have said, multiple times, throughout this episode that they don't know many bisexual men. I think it is interesting that bisexuality is more accepted, as is experimentation and curiosity, for women than it is for men. the female bisexual cast member is given high fives and celebrated when she comes out to the rest of the house. The male character, however, is questioned and the dinner table falls silent. He felt it necessary that the rest of the house get to know him for his personality and then learn his sexuality. "being bi is just a part of my personality. I like to snow board, I like music, I like men and women." The female didn't feel this pressure at all. Our society has glamorized lesbian relationships. Many women feel pressured to make out with, fondle, and have sex with other women as a way to lure men.
As an women who is open about her sexuality, I get so frustrated by this glamorization. Being (genuinely and truly) queer is not as beautiful as it seems. When I am out with my partner, we have to worry about who is around us. We have to make sure we are in welcoming company in order to feel secure enough to hold each other hands or steal a kiss. When we want to have kids, we have to go through a second parent adoption so that she can have legal rights and authority over our child because she did not contribute any DNA. There is a lot of discrimination and stares and slurs and hate. I wish that people would not trivialize my life by making it the center of the porn industry.
ok, i think I am done venting.
Similarly, the issues of sexuality on this show are AWESOME! There are two bisexual cast members...one man and one woman. Cast members have said, multiple times, throughout this episode that they don't know many bisexual men. I think it is interesting that bisexuality is more accepted, as is experimentation and curiosity, for women than it is for men. the female bisexual cast member is given high fives and celebrated when she comes out to the rest of the house. The male character, however, is questioned and the dinner table falls silent. He felt it necessary that the rest of the house get to know him for his personality and then learn his sexuality. "being bi is just a part of my personality. I like to snow board, I like music, I like men and women." The female didn't feel this pressure at all. Our society has glamorized lesbian relationships. Many women feel pressured to make out with, fondle, and have sex with other women as a way to lure men.
As an women who is open about her sexuality, I get so frustrated by this glamorization. Being (genuinely and truly) queer is not as beautiful as it seems. When I am out with my partner, we have to worry about who is around us. We have to make sure we are in welcoming company in order to feel secure enough to hold each other hands or steal a kiss. When we want to have kids, we have to go through a second parent adoption so that she can have legal rights and authority over our child because she did not contribute any DNA. There is a lot of discrimination and stares and slurs and hate. I wish that people would not trivialize my life by making it the center of the porn industry.
ok, i think I am done venting.
25 November 2009
Bucket List
I have been thinking a lot about all of the things I want to do in my life. (Three cancer scares in one year will make a person think about her mortality and all of the things she has left to do.) So far, here's what I got...
Raise really awesome kids.
Skydive.
Sit on the lawn at Wimbledon
Write a book.
Start a restaurant.
Make that restaurant a college-town staple.
Record an album.
Front a band.
Travel Europe, Africa, and South America.
Visit all fifty states.
See the Northern Lights in person.
Go to cooking school.
Sing the National Anthem at a professional sporting event.
Grow a garden and live off the fruits (and vegetables) of my labor.
Shave my head.
Buy a cake from Charm City Cakes.
Stomp grapes in Europe.
Go to the Olympics.
Brew my own beer.
Dance with Ellen.
This is a work in progress.
What do YOU want to do? What is on YOUR bucket list?
Raise really awesome kids.
Skydive.
Sit on the lawn at Wimbledon
Write a book.
Start a restaurant.
Make that restaurant a college-town staple.
Record an album.
Front a band.
Travel Europe, Africa, and South America.
Visit all fifty states.
See the Northern Lights in person.
Go to cooking school.
Sing the National Anthem at a professional sporting event.
Grow a garden and live off the fruits (and vegetables) of my labor.
Shave my head.
Buy a cake from Charm City Cakes.
Stomp grapes in Europe.
Go to the Olympics.
Brew my own beer.
Dance with Ellen.
This is a work in progress.
What do YOU want to do? What is on YOUR bucket list?
20 November 2009
Break-ups and Best Sellers
When one girl exits, another one walks in. I figure if it is true for doors, it has got to work with women.
A few weeks ago (before the weird conversation) i had the revelation that Dylan wasn't IT. I realized i was (now - am) getting bored. Aside from being gay and having divorced parents....there is not a lot of common ground. Our conversations are pretty much substance-less. We have very different ideas of relaxation and fun. I have tried to explain in many different ways what my job is and she just doesn't get it.
Here's how I know she's not IT: She isn't an adventurous eater. She doesn't like old movies. She thinks FaceBook is worthless. She doesn't listen to music when she drives (or ever, really). She doesn't understand why activism is so important. She chose Leno over Letterman. She would rather have dogs than kids. (This list could be longer...but I think y'all get my point.)
She was comforting when I was freaking out about Tyra. She made me laugh....when we were tipsy. She has tattoos and a motorcycle. I like her dogs. Sleeping with her was fun. (I wish I could say that this list could be longer....but it really can't.)
So.......peace out Dylan. It was great to get back in the game with you, but looking back - I know we were using each other for the same purpose. We needed to gain some confidence after "being off the market" for so long. I hope that I gave you some because I did get some of my mine back. Good luck!
All hope is not lost....Enter, Maggie. Maggie and I have some mutual friends and spent time together sporadically with said friends. We exchanged phone numbers, friended each other on FaceBook, and eventually became friends without the need of the intermediary. And then, without warning, she made my insides smile. Maggie walked into my life without an agenda and the connection that I am feeling has developed organically. I'm not totally sure where our story will go or how it will end, but I am hoping it'll be a best-seller.
A few weeks ago (before the weird conversation) i had the revelation that Dylan wasn't IT. I realized i was (now - am) getting bored. Aside from being gay and having divorced parents....there is not a lot of common ground. Our conversations are pretty much substance-less. We have very different ideas of relaxation and fun. I have tried to explain in many different ways what my job is and she just doesn't get it.
Here's how I know she's not IT: She isn't an adventurous eater. She doesn't like old movies. She thinks FaceBook is worthless. She doesn't listen to music when she drives (or ever, really). She doesn't understand why activism is so important. She chose Leno over Letterman. She would rather have dogs than kids. (This list could be longer...but I think y'all get my point.)
She was comforting when I was freaking out about Tyra. She made me laugh....when we were tipsy. She has tattoos and a motorcycle. I like her dogs. Sleeping with her was fun. (I wish I could say that this list could be longer....but it really can't.)
So.......peace out Dylan. It was great to get back in the game with you, but looking back - I know we were using each other for the same purpose. We needed to gain some confidence after "being off the market" for so long. I hope that I gave you some because I did get some of my mine back. Good luck!
All hope is not lost....Enter, Maggie. Maggie and I have some mutual friends and spent time together sporadically with said friends. We exchanged phone numbers, friended each other on FaceBook, and eventually became friends without the need of the intermediary. And then, without warning, she made my insides smile. Maggie walked into my life without an agenda and the connection that I am feeling has developed organically. I'm not totally sure where our story will go or how it will end, but I am hoping it'll be a best-seller.
18 November 2009
The Recovery: from home
I am officially back in my own apartment!! My post-op appointment was on Monday morning in Salem. Bad-Ass Barbie was wonderfully happy with the outcome, my recovery, and the progress on my incision.
Tyra was just under 5" inches in diameter and a heavy little bugger! Contrary to popular belief, she was NOT imbedded in the lining of my uterus. Rather, she was hanging from a substantial blood supply off the front side of my uterus. She was so big that she was hiding my uterus. If you will remember from one of my earlier posts, Bad-Ass Barbie commented on the size of my uterus. She did the same this appointment-but it was the opposite reaction. Opening my up she saw that my uterus is not large like first thought...instead it's actually pretty small.
I was very lucky...the surgery that was scheduled to take about 2 1/2 hours and would leave me on the couch for weeks lasted under an hour and I was up and moving within a week. Bad-Ass Barbie was sure that the surgery would include a lot of work to reconstruct my uterus and might leave me unable to be pregnant. I was prepared to wake up without my reproductive system. I was prepared to adopt all of my children. I was prepared to find a counselor to help me deal with the potential grief i would feel when i had to give-up my dream of being pregnant and feeling my child move and grow inside me. I got really lucky....i got to walk out of the hospital with all of my organs and dreams in tact.
At my post-op appointment, Bad-Ass Barbie signed off on my work release and set the officially set the Sarah-can-TOTALLY-go-back-to-life-date for December 1!! Right now, i am allowed to drive and go back to school....starting December 1, I can go back to work and get back to working out. I have been so anxious to start running again, to get back to Jillian Michaels' DVDs, and to get back on track with the weight loss journey. I have been SO frustrated that I have been complacent and blaming Tyra for the back and forth, the up and down. I am looking forward to get back to it.
Tyra was just under 5" inches in diameter and a heavy little bugger! Contrary to popular belief, she was NOT imbedded in the lining of my uterus. Rather, she was hanging from a substantial blood supply off the front side of my uterus. She was so big that she was hiding my uterus. If you will remember from one of my earlier posts, Bad-Ass Barbie commented on the size of my uterus. She did the same this appointment-but it was the opposite reaction. Opening my up she saw that my uterus is not large like first thought...instead it's actually pretty small.
I was very lucky...the surgery that was scheduled to take about 2 1/2 hours and would leave me on the couch for weeks lasted under an hour and I was up and moving within a week. Bad-Ass Barbie was sure that the surgery would include a lot of work to reconstruct my uterus and might leave me unable to be pregnant. I was prepared to wake up without my reproductive system. I was prepared to adopt all of my children. I was prepared to find a counselor to help me deal with the potential grief i would feel when i had to give-up my dream of being pregnant and feeling my child move and grow inside me. I got really lucky....i got to walk out of the hospital with all of my organs and dreams in tact.
At my post-op appointment, Bad-Ass Barbie signed off on my work release and set the officially set the Sarah-can-TOTALLY-go-back-to-life-date for December 1!! Right now, i am allowed to drive and go back to school....starting December 1, I can go back to work and get back to working out. I have been so anxious to start running again, to get back to Jillian Michaels' DVDs, and to get back on track with the weight loss journey. I have been SO frustrated that I have been complacent and blaming Tyra for the back and forth, the up and down. I am looking forward to get back to it.
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